i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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