i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
