i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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