pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
