Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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