Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
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