Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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