She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
