Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Randomize
