Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
