girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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