I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
