The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
