Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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