i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
