her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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