well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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