Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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