I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You pole danced in your parka.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
