we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
