Too much gin, very little bucket
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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