you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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