at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
