i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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