??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
