New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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