Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
