Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
