i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My vagina just clenched in fear
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
