connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
