I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
