Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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