if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
