yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
