i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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