I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
bring money and cleavage
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
