thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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