Walk of Shame. In a state park.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
