The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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