is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
did you just send me my own nude
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
