She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
