I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
