I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
