The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
