he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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