so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
