I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The beer is more important than you right now.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
