Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
