Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
