You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
