when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
